Sitting in the Breast Clinic waiting room with pretty much all 65+’s felt like an absolute waste of my time. I was there with my mum and we were going to knock this appointment over quickly and head into the city for some lunch. The consultation came first with a very lovely doctor. I had the first ultrasound, my boob was sore so that was a bit uncomfortable. Still oblivious to what the day would eventually bring I was sent for a mammogram. I thought wow, what a very thorough set of examinations. My abscess (or what I thought was causing the pain) must be really difficult to find.
The doctor calls my name, I look back now and think they must absolutely dread these moments. I was called into the doctor's room, ready for her to tell me that I needed to drain my boob. Nope, she tells me I have cancer!
WTF – I actually thought she was taking the piss out of me. I think I even smiled. I said ‘hang on can I get my mum’. She repeated my verdict. I said ‘that's ridiculous I’m 37’. My new bloody life sentence just announced loud and clear. Because I’m telling you cancer is a life sentence. This shit follows you around forever. I’m not saying you can’t live a full and happy life, but you will be scarred. It’s just the way it is.
5 biopsies later, devastated, broken, absolutely exhausted! Mum drove me home. We sat, we cried, we contemplated our approach. We thought about death, we thought about money, we thought about the kids. We had no idea what we were going to do.
Next day, GP and Breast Surgeon. Wow, the next blow hit me fair in the face – I’m losing my boob and I’m getting chemo. Shit, I’m going to have only one boob and I’m going to be bald. Another WTF moment.
PET Scan. My lymph node tested positive so we needed to find out if this little bitch was anywhere else. I told my surgeon ‘don’t bother ringing me, ring my husband with my results I cannot take more bad news’.
Can I just say - PET scans are seriously the most harrowing experience anyone can go through and for all those facing that waiting game right now - it is just shit so hang on for dear life! I’m not patient at the best of times but to sit and wait to see if you are dying is totally next level.
Yayyyy, the first bit of good news – PET clear, well it’s in your boob and your lymph node but we can’t see it anywhere else. Thank FUUK!
So we found it, we know the verdict and now we had to get busy getting rid of it!